The Red Letter Plays Read online

  Trouble

  I found it. On the street. It was just lying there.

  Bully

  You stole it.

  Trouble

  Did not!

  Hester

  Dont lie to me.

  Trouble

  I found it. I did. It was just lying on the street. I was minding my own business.

  Hester

  That why the cops was chasing you?

  Trouble

  Snitch!

  Bully

  Jailbait!

  Bully hits Trouble hard.

  They fight. Pandemonium.

  Hester

  Suppertime!

  Order is restored.

  Hester slips the club into the belt of her dress; it hangs there like a sword.

  She wears it like this for most of the play.

  Her children sit in a row holding their bowls.

  She ladles out the soup.

  Hester

  Todays soup the day, ladies and gents, is a very special blend of herbs and spices. The broth is chef Mommies worldwide famous “whathaveyou” stock. Theres carrots in there. Theres meat. Theres oranges. Theres pie.

  Trouble

  What kinda pie?

  Hester

  What kind you like?

  Trouble

  Apple.

  Hester

  Theres apple pie.

  Jabber

  Pumpkin.

  Bully

  And cherry!

  Hester

  Theres pumpkin and cherry too. And steak. And mash potatoes for Beauty. And milk for Baby.

  Beauty

  And diamonds.

  Jabber

  You cant eat diamonds.

  Hester

  So when you find one in yr soup whatll you do?

  Beauty

  Put it on my finger.

  They slurp down their soup quickly.

  As soon as she fills their bowls, theyre empty again.

  The kids eat. Hester doesnt.

  Jabber

  You aint hungry?

  Hester

  I’ll eat later.

  Jabber

  You always eating later.

  Hester

  You did a good job with the wall, Jabber. Whatd that word say anyway?

  Jabber

  —Nothing.

  The soup pot is empty.

  Hester

  Jabber/Bully/Trouble/Beauty/Baby

  (Rest)

  Hester

  Bedtime.

  Bully

  Can we have a story?

  (Rest)

  Hester

  All right.

  (Rest)

  There were once these five brothers and they were all big and strong and handsome and didnt have a care in the world. One was known for his brains so they called him Smarts and one was known for his muscles, so they called him Toughguy, the third one was a rascal so they called him Wild, the fourth one was as goodlooking as all get out and they called him Looker and the fifth was the youngest and they called him Honeychild cause he was as young as he was sweet. And they was always together these five brothers. Everywhere they went they always went together. No matter what they was always together cause they was best friends and wasnt nothing could divide them. And there was this Princess. And she lived in a castle and she was lonesome. She was lonesome and looking for love but she couldnt leave her castle so she couldnt look very far so every day she would stick her head out her window and sing to the sun and every night she would stick her head out and sing to the moon and the stars: “Where are you?” And one day the five brothers heard her and came calling and she looked upon them and she said: “There are five of you, and each one is wonderful and special in his own way. But the law of my country doesnt allow a princess to have more than one husband.” And that was such bad news and they were all so in love that they all cried. Until the Princess had an idea. She was after all the Princess, so she changed the law of the land and married them all.

  (Rest)

  And with Bro Smarts she had a baby named Jabber. And with Bro Toughguy she had Bully. With Bro Wild came Trouble. With Bro Looker she had Beauty. With Bro Honeychild came Baby. And they was all happy.

  Jabber

  Until the bad news came.

  Hester

  No bad news came.

  Jabber

  Theres always bad news.

  Hester

  Bedtime.

  Beauty

  Where did the daddys go?

  Hester

  They went to bed.

  Trouble

  They ran off.

  Jabber

  The war came and the brothers went off to fight and they all died.

  Beauty

  They all died?

  Jabber

  And they fell into the ground and the dirt covered up they heads.

  Hester

  Its bedtime. Now!

  Beauty

  Im scared.

  Trouble

  I aint scared. Jabber, you a spook.

  Bully

  Yr the spook.

  Trouble

  Yr a bastard.

  Bully

  Yr a bastard.

  Hester

  Yr all bastards!

  The children burst into tears.

  Hester

  Cmmeer. Cmmeer. Mama loves you. Shes just tired is all. Lemmie hug you.

  They nestle around her and she hugs them.

  Hester

  My 5 treasures. My 5 joys.

  Hester

  Jabber/Bully/Trouble/Beauty/Baby

  Hester

  Hester

  Lets hit the sack! And leave yr shoes for polish and yr shirts and blouses for press. You dont wanna look like you dont got nobody.

  They take off their shoes and tops and go inside leaving Hester outside alone.

  Hester

  Hester

  Hester

  (Rest)

  Hester examines the empty soup pot, shines the kids shoes, “presses” their clothes.

  A wave of pain shoots through her.

  Hester

  You didnt eat, Hester. And the pain in yr gut comes from having nothing in it.

  (Rest)

  Kids ate good though. Ate their soup all up. They wont starve.

  (Rest)

  None of these shoes shine. Never did no matter how hard you spit on em, Hester. You get a leg up the first thing you do is get shoes. New shoes for yr 5 treasures. You got yrself a good pair of shoes already.

  From underneath a pile of junk she takes a shoebox.

  Inside is a pair of white pumps.

  She looks them over then puts them away.

  Hester

  Dont know where yr going but yll look good when you get there.

  [Hester takes out a small tape player.

  Pops in a tape.

  She takes a piece of chalk from her pocket and, on the freshly scrubbed wall, practices her letters:

  she writes the letter A over and over and over.

  The cassette tape plays as she writes.

  On tape:

  Reverend D.

  If you cant always do right then you got to admit that some times, some times my friends you are going to do wrong and you are going to have to live with that. Somehow work that into the fabric of your life. Because there aint a soul out there that is spot free. There aint a soul out there that has walked but hasnt stumbled. Aint a single solitary soul out there that has said “hello” and not “goodbye,” has said “yes” to the lord and “yes” to the devil too, has drunk water and drunk wine, loved and hated, experienced the good side of the tracks and the bad. That is what they call “Livin,” friends. L-I-V-I-N, friends. Life on earth is full of confusion. Life on earth is full of misunderstandings, reprimandings, and we focus on the trouble, friends, when it is the solution to those troubles we oughta be looking at. “I have fallen and I cant get up!” How many times have you heard that, friends? The fellow on the stre
et with his whisky breath and his outstretched hand, the banker scraping the money off the top, the runaway child turned criminal all cry out “I have fallen, and I cant get up!” “I have fallen, and I cant get up!” “I have fallen—”

  Hester hears someone coming and turns the tape off.] She goes back to polishing the shoes.

  Amiga Gringa comes in.

  Amiga Gringa

  Look at old Mother Hubbard or whatever.

  Hester

  Keep quiet. Theyre sleeping.

  Amiga Gringa

  The old woman and the shoe. Thats who you are.

  Hester

  I get my leg up thats what Im getting. New shoes for my treasures.

  Amiga Gringa

  Thatll be some leg up.

  Hester

  You got my money?

  Amiga Gringa

  Is that a way to greet a friend? “You got my money?” What world is this?

  Hester

  You got my money, Amiga?

  Amiga Gringa

  I got news for you, Hester. News thats better than gold. But first—heads up.

  The Doctor comes in.

  He wears a sandwich board and carries all his office paraphernalia on his back.

  Doctor

  Hester! Yr due for a checkup.

  Hester

  My guts been hurting me.

  Doctor

  Im on my way home just now. Catch up with me tomorrow. We’ll have a look at it then.

  He goes on his way.

  Amiga Gringa

  Doc! I am in pain like you would not believe. My hips, Doc. When I move them—blinding flashes of light and then—down I go, flat on my back, like Im dead, Doc.

  Doctor

  I gave you something for that yesterday.

  Doctor

  Amiga Gringa

  He slips Amiga a few pills.

  He goes on his way.

  Amiga Gringa

  Hes a saint.

  Hester

  Sometimes.

  Amiga Gringa

  Want some?

  Hester

  I want my money.

  Amiga Gringa

  Patience, girl. All good things are on their way. Do you know what the word is?

  Hester

  What word?

  Amiga Gringa

  Word is that yr first love is back in town, doing well and looking for you.

  Hester

  Chilli? Jabbers daddy? Looking for me?

  Amiga Gringa

  Thats the word.

  Hester

  Hester

  Hester

  Bullshit. Gimmie my money, Miga. I promised the kids cake and ice cream. How much you get?

  Amiga Gringa

  First, an explanation of the economic environment.

  Hester

  Just gimmie my money—

  Amiga Gringa

  The Stock Market, The Bond Market, Wall Street, Grain Futures, Bulls and Bears and Pork Bellies. They all impact the price a woman such as myself can get for a piece of “found” jewelry.

  Hester

  That werent jewelry I gived you that was a watch. A Mans watch. Name brand. And it was working.

  Amiga Gringa

  Do you know what the Dow did today, Hester? The Dow was up twelve points. And that prize fighter, the one everyone is talking about, the one with the pretty wife and the heavyweight crown, he rang the opening bell. She wore a dress cut down to here. And the Dow shot up 43 points in the first minutes of trading, Hester. Up like a rocket. And men glanced up at the faces of clocks on the walls of their offices and women around the country glanced into the faces of their children and time passed. [And someone looks at their watch because its lunchtime, Hester. And theyre having—lunch. And they wish it would last forever. Cause when they get back to their office where they—work, when they get back the Dow has plummeted. And theres a lot of racing around and time is brief and something must be done before the closing bell. Phone calls are made, marriages dissolve, promises lost in the shuffle, Hester, and all this time your Amiga Gringa is going from fence to fence trying to get the best price on this piece of “found” jewelry. Numbers racing on lightboards, Hester, telling those that are in the know, the value of who knows what. One man, broken down in tears in the middle of the avenue, “Oh my mutual funds” he was saying.] The market was hot, and me, a suspicious looking mother, very much like yrself, with no real address and no valid forms of identification, walking the streets with a hot watch.

  (Rest)

  Here.

  She gives Hester $.

  Hester

  Wheres the rest?

  Amiga Gringa

  Thats it.

  Hester

  5 bucks?

  Amiga Gringa

  It wasnt a good day. Some days are good some days are bad. I kept a buck for myself.

  Hester

  You stole from me.

  Amiga Gringa

  Dont be silly. We’re friends, Hester.

  Hester

  I shoulda sold it myself.

  Amiga Gringa

  But you had the baby to watch.

  Hester

  And no ones gonna give money to me with me carrying Baby around. Still I coulda got more than 5.

  Amiga Gringa

  Go nextime yrself then. The dangers I incur, working with you. You oughta send yr kids away. Like me. I got 3 kids. All under the age of 3. And do you see me looking all baggy eyed, up all night shining little shoes and flattening little shirts and going without food? Theres plenty of places that you can send them. Homes. Theres plenty of peoples, rich ones especially, that cant have kids. The rich spend days looking through the newspaper for ads where they can buy one. Or they go to the bastard homes and pick one out. Youd have some freedom. Youd have a chance at life. Like me.

  Hester

  My kids is mine. I get rid of em what do I got? Nothing.

  I got nothing now, but if I lose them I got less than nothing.

  Amiga Gringa

  Suit yrself. You wouldnt have to send them all away, just one or two or three.

  Hester

  All I need is a leg up. I get my leg up I’ll be ok.

  Bully comes outside and stands there watching them. She wears pink, one-piece, flame-retardant pajamas.

  Hester

  What.

  Bully

  My hands stuck.

  Hester

  Why you sleep with yr hands in fists?

  Amiga Gringa

  Yr an angry girl, arentcha, Bully.

  Bully

  Idunno. This ones stuck too.

  Hester

  Maybe yll grow up to be a boxer, huh? We can watch you ringside, huh? Wide World of Sports.

  Amiga Gringa

  Presenting in this corner weighing 82 pounds the challenger: Bully!

  Bully

  Ima good girl.

  Hester

  Course you are. There. You shouldnt sleep with yr hands balled up. The good fairies come by in the night with treats for little girls and they put them in yr hands. How you gonna get any treats if yr hands are all balled up?

  Bully

  Jabber is bad and Trouble is bad and Beauty is bad and Baby is bad but I’m good. Bullys a good girl.

  Hester

  Go on back to bed now.

  Bully

  Miga. Smell.

  Amiga Gringa

  You got bad breath.

  Bully

  I forgot to brush my teeth.

  Hester

  Go head.

  Bully squats off in the “bathroom” and rubs her teeth with her finger.

  Amiga Gringa

  Babys daddy, that Reverend, he ever give you money?

  Hester

  No.

  Amiga Gringa

  Hes a gold mine. I seen the collection plate going around.

  Its a full plate.

  Hester

  I aint seen him since before Baby was born.

  Ami
ga Gringa

  Thats two years.

  Hester

  He didnt want nothing to do with me. His heart went hard.

  Amiga Gringa

  My second kids daddy had a hard heart at first. But time mushed him up. Remember when he comed around crying about his lineage and asking whered the baby go? And I’d already gived it up.

  Hester

  Reverend D., his heart is real hard. Like a rock.

  Amiga Gringa

  Worth a try all the same.

  Hester

  Yeah.

  (Rest)

  Who told you Chilli was looking for me?

  Amiga Gringa

  Word on the street, thats all.

  Trouble, dressed in superhero pajamas, comes in.

  He holds a box of matches. He lights one.

  Hester

  What the hell you doing?

  Trouble

  Sleepwalking.

  Hester

  You sleepwalk yrself back over here and gimmie them matches or Ima kill you.

  Trouble gives her the matches.

  Bully has finished with her teeth.

  Bully

  You wanna smell?

  Hester

  Thats ok.

  Bully

  Dont you wanna smell?

  Hester leans in and Bully opens her mouth.

  Bully

  I only did one side cause I only ate with one side today.

  Hester

  Go on to bed.

  Bully passes Trouble and hits him hard.

  Trouble

  Aaaaah!

  Bully

  Yr a bad person!

  Bully hits him again.

  Trouble

  Aaaaaaaaah!

  Hester

  Who made you policewoman?

  Trouble

  Ima blow you sky high one day you bully bitch!

  Bully goes to hit him again.

  Hester

  Trouble I thought you said you was sleep. Go inside and lie down and shut up or you wont see tomorrow.