Topdog / Underdog Page 2
Lincoln goes to get the food.
He sees a stray card on the floor and examines it without touching it. He brings the food over, putting it nicely on the table.
Lincoln
You been playing cards?
Booth
Yeah.
Lincoln
Solitaire?
Booth
Thats right. Im getting pretty good at it.
Lincoln
Thats soup and thats sauce. I got you the meat and I got me the skrimps.
Booth
I wanted the skrimps.
Lincoln
You said you wanted the meat. This morning when I left you said you wanted the meat.
(Rest)
Here man, take the skrimps. No sweat.
They eat. Chinese food from styrofoam containers, cans of soda, fortune cookies. Lincoln eats slowly and carefully, Booth eats ravenously.
Lincoln
Yr getting good at solitaire?
Booth
Yeah. How about we play a hand after eating?
Lincoln
Solitaire?
Booth
Poker or rummy or something.
Lincoln
You know I dont touch thuh cards, man.
Booth
Just for fun.
Lincoln
I dont touch thuh cards.
Booth
How about for money?
Lincoln
You dont got no money. All the money you got I bring in here.
Booth
I got my inheritance.
Lincoln
Thats like saying you dont got no money cause you aint never gonna do nothing with it so its like you dont got it.
Booth
At least I still got mines. You blew yrs.
Lincoln
Booth
Lincoln
You like the skrimps?
Booth
Ssallright.
Lincoln
Whats yr fortune?
Booth
“Waste not want not.” Whats yrs?
Lincoln
“Your luck will change!”
Booth finishes eating. He turns his back to Lincoln and fiddles around with the cards, keeping them on the bed, just out of Lincolns sight.
He mutters the 3-card patter under his breath.
His moves are still clumsy. Every once and a while he darts a look over at Lincoln who does his best to ignore Booth.
Booth
((((Watch me close watch me close now: who-see-thuh-red-card-who-see-thuh-red-card? I-see-thuh-red-card. Thuh-red-card-is-thuh-winner. Pick-thuh-red-card-you-pick-uh-winner. Pick-uh-black-card-and-you-pick-uh-loser. Theres-thuh-loser, yeah, theres-thuh-black-card, theres-thuh-other-loser-and-theres-thuh-red-card, thuh-winner! Cop C, Stick, Cop C! Go on—))))
Lincoln
((Shit.))
Booth
(((((((One-good-pickll-get-you-in, 2-good-picks-and-you-gone-win. Dont touch my cards, man, just point to thuh one you want. You-pick-that-card-you-pick-uh-loser, yeah, that-cards-uh-loser. You-pick-that-card-thats-thuh-other-loser. You-pick-that-card-you-pick-uh-winner. Follow-that-card. You-gotta-chase-that-card!)))))))
Lincoln
You wanna hustle 3-card monte, you gotta do it right, you gotta break it down. Practice it in smaller bits. Yr trying to do the whole thing at once thats why you keep fucking it up.
Booth
Show me.
Lincoln
No. Im just saying you wanna do it you gotta do it right and if you gonna do it right you gotta work on it in smaller bits, thatsall.
Booth
You and me could team up and do it together. We’d clean up, Link.
Lincoln
I’ll clean up—bro.
Lincoln cleans up. As he clears the food, Booth goes back to using the “table” for its original purpose.
Booth
My new names 3-Card. 3-Card, got it? You wanted to know it so now you know it. 3-card monte by 3-Card. Call me 3-Card from here on out.
Lincoln
3-Card. Shit.
Booth
Im getting everybody to call me 3-Card. Grace likes 3-Card better than Booth. She says 3-Cards got something to it. Anybody not calling me 3-Card gets a bullet.
Lincoln
Yr too much, man.
Booth
Im making a point.
Lincoln
Point made, 3-Card. Point made.
Lincoln picks up his guitar. Plays at it.
Booth
Oh, come on, man, we could make money you and me. Throwing down the cards. 3-Card and Link: look out! We could clean up you and me. You would throw the cards and I’d be yr Stickman. The one in the crowd who looks like just an innocent passerby, who looks like just another player, like just another customer, but who gots intimate connections with you, the Dealer, the one throwing the cards, the main man. I’d be the one who brings in the crowd, I’d be the one who makes them want to put they money down, you do yr moves and I do mines. You turn yr head and I turn the card—
Lincoln
It aint as easy as all that. Theres—
Booth
We could be a team, man. Rake in the money! Sure thered be some cats out there with fast eyes, some brothers and sisters who would watch real close and pick the right card, and so thered be some days when we would lose money, but most of the days we would come out on top! Pockets bulging, plenty of cash! And the ladies would be thrilling! You could afford to get laid! Grace would be all over me again.
Lincoln
I thought you said she was all over you.
Booth
She is she is. Im seeing her tomorrow but today we gotta solidify the shit twixt you and me. Big brother Link and little brother Booth—
Lincoln
3-Card.
Booth
Yeah. Scheming and dreaming. No one throws the cards like you, Link. And with yr moves and my magic, and we get Grace and a girl for you to round out the posse. We’d be golden, bro! Am I right?
Lincoln
Lincoln
Booth
Am I right?
Lincoln
I dont touch thuh cards, 3-Card. I dont touch thuh cards no more.
Lincoln
Booth
Lincoln
Booth
Booth
You know what Mom told me when she was packing to leave? You was at school motherfucker you was at school. You got up that morning and sat down in yr regular place and read the cereal box while Dad read the sports section and Mom brought you yr dick toast and then you got on the damn school bus cause you didnt have the sense to do nothing else you was so into yr own shit that you didnt have the sense to feel nothing else going on. I had the sense to go back cause I was feeling something going on man, I was feeling something changing. So I—
Lincoln
Cut school that day like you did almost every day—
Booth
She was putting her stuff in bags. She had all them nice suitcases but she was putting her stuff in bags.
(Rest)
Packing up her shit. She told me to look out for you. I told her I was the little brother and the big brother should look out after the little brother. She just said it again. That
I should look out for you. Yeah. So who gonna look out for me. Not like you care. Here I am interested in an economic opportunity, willing to work hard, willing to take risks and all you can say you shiteating motherfucking pathetic limpdick uncle tom, all you can tell me is how you dont do no more what I be wanting to do. Here I am trying to earn a living and you standing in my way. YOU STANDING IN MY WAY, LINK!
Lincoln
Im sorry.
Booth
Yeah, you sorry all right.
Lincoln
I cant be hustling no more, bro.
Booth
What you do all day aint no hustle?
Lincoln
Its honest work.
Booth
> Dressing up like some crackerass white man, some dead president and letting people shoot at you sounds like a hustle to me.
Lincoln
People know the real deal. When people know the real deal it aint a hustle.
Booth
We do the card game people will know the real deal. Sometimes we will win sometimes they will win. They fast they win, we faster we win.
Lincoln
I aint going back to that, bro. I aint going back.
Booth
You play Honest Abe. You aint going back but you going all the way back. Back to way back then when folks was slaves and shit.
Lincoln
Dont push me.
Booth
Lincoln
Booth
You gonna have to leave.
Lincoln
I’ll be gone tomorrow.
Booth
Good. Cause this was only supposed to be a temporary arrangement.
Lincoln
I will be gone tomorrow.
Booth
Good.
Booth sits on his bed. Lincoln, sitting in his easy chair with his guitar, plays and sings.
Lincoln
My dear mother left me, my fathers gone away My dear mother left me and my fathers gone away I dont got no money, I dont got no place to stay.
My best girl, she threw me out into the street My favorite horse, they ground him into meat Im feeling cold from my head down to my feet.
My luck was bad but now it turned to worse My luck was bad but now it turned to worse Dont call me up a doctor, just call me up a hearse.
Booth
You just made that up?
Lincoln
I had it in my head for a few days.
Booth
Sounds good.
Lincoln
Thanks.
(Rest)
Daddy told me once why we got the names we do.
Booth
Yeah?
Lincoln
Yeah.
(Rest)
He was drunk when he told me, or maybe I was drunk when he told me. Anyway he told me, may not be true, but he told me. Why he named us both. Lincoln and Booth.
Booth
How come. How come, man?
Lincoln
It was his idea of a joke.
Both men relax back as the lights fade.
Scene Two
Friday evening.
The very next day.
Booth comes in looking like he is bundled up against the cold.
He makes sure his brother isnt home, then stands in the middle of the room. From his big coat sleeves he pulls out one new shoe then another, from another sleeve come two more shoes. He then slithers out a belt from each sleeve.
He removes his coat. Underneath he wears a very nice new suit. He removes the jacket and pants revealing another new suit underneath. The suits still have the price tags on them. He takes two neckties from his pockets and two folded shirts from the back of his pants. He pulls a magazine from the front of his pants. Hes clearly had a busy day of shoplifting.
He lays one suit out on Lincolns easy chair.
The other he lays out on his own bed.
He goes out into the hall returning with a folding screen which he sets up between the bed and the recliner creating 2 separate spaces.
He takes out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, setting them on the two stacked milk crates.
He hears footsteps and sits down in the small wooden chair reading the magazine.
Lincoln, dressed in street clothes, comes in.
Lincoln
Taaaaadaaaaaaaa!
Booth
Lordamighty, Pa, I smells money!
Lincoln
Sho nuff, Ma. Poppas brung home thuh bacon.
Booth
Bringitherebringitherebringithere.
With a series of very elaborate moves
Lincoln brings the money over to Booth.
Booth
Put it in my hands, Pa!
Lincoln
I want ya tuh smells it first, Ma!
Booth
Put it neath my nose then, Pa!
Lincoln
Take yrself a good long whiff of them greenbacks.
Booth
Oh lordamighty Ima faint, Pa! Get me muh med-sin!
Lincoln quickly pours two large glasses of whiskey.
Lincoln
Dont die on me, Ma!
Booth
Im fading fast, Pa!
Lincoln
Thinka thuh children, Ma! Thinka thuh farm!
Booth
1-2-3.
Both men gulp down their drinks simultaneously.
Lincoln and Booth
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Lots of laughing and slapping on the backs.
Lincoln
Budget it out man budget it out.
Booth
You in a hurry?
Lincoln
Yeah. I wanna see how much we got for the week.
Booth
You rush in here and dont even look around. Could be a fucking A-bomb in the middle of the floor you wouldnt notice. Yr wife, Cookie—
Lincoln
X-wife—
Booth
—could be in my bed you wouldnt notice—
Lincoln
She was once—
Booth
Look the fuck around please.
Lincoln looks around and sees the new suit on his chair.
Lincoln
Wow.
Booth
Its yrs.
Lincoln
Shit.
Booth
Got myself one too.
Lincoln
Boosted?
Booth
Yeah, I boosted em. Theys stole from a big-ass department store. That store takes in more money in one day than we will in our whole life. I stole and I stole generously. I got one for me and I got one for you. Shoes belts shirts ties socks in the shoes and everything. Got that screen too.
Lincoln
You all right, man.
Booth
Just cause I aint good as you at cards dont mean I cant do nothing.
Lincoln
Lets try em on.
They stand in their separate sleeping spaces,
Booth near his bed, Lincoln near his recliner, and try on their new clothes.
Booth
Ima wear mine tonight. Gracell see me in this and she gonna ask me tuh marry her.
(Rest)
I got you the blue and I got me the brown. I walked in there and walked out and they didnt as much as bat an eye. Thats how smooth lil bro be, Link.
Lincoln
You did good. You did real good, 3-Card.
Booth
All in a days work.
Lincoln
They say the clothes make the man. All day long I wear that getup. But that dont make me who I am. Old black coat not even real old just fake old. Its got worn spots on the elbows, little raggedy places thatll break through into holes before the winters out. Shiny strips around the cuffs and the collar. Dust from the cap guns on the left shoulder where they shoot him, where they shoot me I should say but I never feel like they shooting me. The fella who had the gig before I had it wore the same coat. When I got the job they had the getup hanging there waiting for me. Said thuh fella before me just took it off one day and never came back.